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Thursday, April 14, 2011

Whining and complaining...

I had an epiphany the other day.  I had every intention of sharing it, however, as soon as it came to me, it was shot down.  So, I'll pass on sharing as I'm apparently not ready.  I realize that makes no sense, but whatever.

I've determined over the past few years that there are people in my life who with or without knowing it (I'm not sure which it is) hurt me.  These people cut me to the core and break me down to levels that I do not like.  These people are not ones that I can just cut out of my life.  It's not that easy.  The worst part is, I don't want them out of my life.  I will not tell who these people are, because it doesn't matter.  What does matter is this - be careful what you say to others.  Simple things like "your hair looks a little rough" to some may be no big deal - to people like me (i.e. incredibly insecure and self-concious) it hurts.  Commenting in one breath that you are feeling great and feel like you're looking great and in the next breath asking if the person you're talking to has gained weight - probably not going to go over well.

I know I need to have thicker skin.  I know I need to not let little things like this bother me.  I know that I should not care what others think.  I thought I was there.  I'm not.  Things like that hurt.  I have such a deep and utter self-hatred that little things like that just feed the fire.  No, I'm not suicidal or anything stupid like that.  I just don't like me.  

Moral of this blog - be careful what you say to others, you never know when what you say will break them down.

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