Thursday, February 2, 2012

Um ok

Right now I'm procrastinating.  I'm suppose to be doing homework.  Here's the thing.  I was laying on my bed last night staring at the ceiling.  No, seriously.  I was.  I was laying on my bed with my head where my feet should have been, fully clothed staring at the ceiling.  I was pondering my life.  Now before I go on, let me say this - I love my life.  I have the most amazing husband on the planet.  I don't know how I got lucky enough for him to marry me, but I did.  I could not ask for a better man.  I have 4 beautiful children.  All of them mean the world to me.  I have an amazing family with loving moms, sisters, brothers, in-laws, aunts, uncles, grandparents.  I have all that and I have some good friends.

What I was pondering last night is where I am today compared to where I thought I would be. Pretty sure I wrote somewhere that by this time in my life I would have my own dance studio and be married with a couple of kids.  I'm pretty sure I assumed that I would have my big ass double major double minor as well.  

Funny how things don't go how we think, eh?  I don't have that double major/double minor.  I'm 18 weeks from finally have a bachelors.  Uh, I graduated high school in 1994.  The fact that I'm just now getting my degree is nothing short of pitiful.  I don't have my own dance studio and the I don't want that anymore.

I'm annoyed with myself.  I'm annoyed with what I've allowed myself to become.  I'm complacent and I hate that.  My day consists of getting up, getting ready for work, sitting on my ass all day staring at a computer, coaching for a couple hours, going home and sitting on my ass for a few hours doing homework/facebooking/blogging.  What does all of that equal?  An incredibly large disgusting fat ass.  *sigh*

Bah, I could go on for hours.  I'm lazy.  I'm fat.  It's disgusting.  It depresses me and yet I do nothing about it.  That's awesome.  Go me.

1 comment:

  1. So what do you want now? What are you going to do in 18 weeks to change things?

    I'm not preaching. I'm proud of who you are. I was a couple years younger than you are when I uprooted us to start a new career. I loved my job. I miss it some days, but not enough to go back.

    Now that I am officially 'old' I know what I want and where I want to be. Pretty scary to be thinking of uprooting myself again at this stage in my life. But, I am seriously thinking about it.

    YOU have the POWER to make change happen. I know you will do it with your family in mind. I know I will support whatever you decide. Make YOUR dreams happen.