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Monday, February 14, 2011

Protective or Over-protective

Being a mom is the world's greatest and the absolute worst job out there.  I've said it before and I'll say it again - it's like having your heart walk around outside your chest.  It sucks - plain and simple.  My daughter and I had a small war on Saturday because I wouldn't let her do something.  It got me thinking about whether or not I'm too over-protective.  She wanted to go to the mall with a few of her friends - unsupervised.  She's 13.  I know there are plenty of parents out there that would have no problem with this.  I, on the other hand, have a MAJOR problem with it. 

I tried to explain to her that it isn't that I don't trust her - although, I don't know that I do trust her to make the right decisions all the time - but more so that I don't trust other people.  The Meridian Mall is in a college town - so, college age boys and old creepers dressed as nice people looking to nab little girls.  Little psychotic sounding?  Maybe, but it's how I feel. 

Many people - even people that I spend a lot of time with will disagree with me.  That's ok - you can do what you want with yours and I won't judge you as long as you do the same for me.  I am not comfortable putting my little girl - YES LITTLE GIRL....she is ONLY 13 in potentially dangerous and adult situations that she does not have the mental capacity to handle. 

I firmly believe that there are some situations that parents need to stay out of and let the kids handle.  Squabbles between friends need to be solved by the kids.  How else will they learn conflict resolution?  I do not think that parents should fix every boo boo.  Yes, we want to, but the kids have to learn.  I feel strongly, though, about not putting my child into situations that AS A CHILD she shouldn't be in.  The parties until 11 o'clock at night.  Yes, I've heard of these parties where the kids are already dippin into the sauce and smokin weed.  THEY ARE 12 AND 13 YEARS OLD.  WHERE THE F#$K ARE THE PARENTS?!?!? 

Will my daughter hate me off and on as I tell her no?  Absolutely.  Will my daughter at some point in her life appreciate my decisions?  Maybe, maybe not.  I, however, will have some peace of mind. 


  1. i agree with you, this is on bannas google account i don't have one, nanc

  2. You know how I feel AJK!! I'm not here to be a friend to my kids. I'm here to be their parent. If that means I make decisions they do not like, I do not care. My job is to teach them about character, responsibility, manners and respect all while keeping them safe. Yes, it does mean they have to do things on their own in situations to allow them to make good choices. But that needs to be within the parameters of what we as parents deem to be within a safe environment. Unfortunately, that means they are going to be frustrated in a majority of decisions that are made on their behalf. This does not bother me. I simply look forward to the years after they turn 25 and beyond when they're finally mature enough to look back and thank me for the decisions I made on their behalf before they were 25. So hang in there AJK, you did the right thing.