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Wednesday, January 11, 2012


No, not you - not the person currently reading this.  Someone else....please let me share my story...

Last week I printed statements and called people who owed us money in preparation for this weeks douche bags.  I had to call one - we'll call her  Imafuk Inidgit.  This is how that call went...

Me:  "May I speak to Imafuk Inidgit?"

Imafuk:  "That me."  (Not that'S me....that me.)  *deep sigh* I sense how this will go.

Me:  "We've got you scheduled, however you've got an outstanding balance in collections of $1100 from 2009 that will need to be paid prior to your visit." (idk if ya'll are aware, but it's now 2012). 

Imafuk:  "Well I had insurance."

Me:  "The insurance denied your claim and we sent you 5 bills."

Imafuk:  "You billed the wrong insurance."

Me:  "Did you call our office to correct your insurance information?"

Imafuk:  "No, that ain't my job."
Me:  "Right, because I'm a fucking mind reader and knew what insurance your stupid ass had at the time of service."  OH WAIT!  I didn't actually say that - that's what I was thinking.  Instead I calmly said, "Actually, it is your responsibility to notify us of insurance changes."

Imafuk:  "Well I ain't got that kinda money. Can't you just send it to the insurance."

Me:  "Unfortunately, your insurance does not accept claims that are more than one year old. This bill is your responsibility and will need to be paid prior to your visit."

Imafuk:  "Well the lady put me on new medicine and it's messing with me so I need it fixed."

Me:  "We can let you be seen once, but the balance will then have to be paid."

Imafuk:  "Ok."

Please fast forward to today. I get a phone call from my girl at the office that Imafuk is copping on a tude and trying to pull shit.  So, I tell my girl to put Imafuk on the phone.  This is how that went...

Me: "Imafuk Inidgit?  This is Jamie.  I spoke with you last week, remember?  I spoke with you on Thursday, January 5 about this balance.  We had determined that you could be seen once but that you would have to make payments on the balance."

Imafuk:  "This is bullshit.  I never got no bill.  They [the insurance] are paying everything.  You just needa rebill it."

Me:  "As I explained to you last week, your insurance does not accept bills that are more than one year old.  This bill is your responsibility."

Imafuk:  "You didn't send me no bill. Or wait, I know, you sent it to the wrong address.  I ain't lived at that address in a year."

Me:  "We haven't billed you since 2009.  This bill is from 2009.  You would have received bills from the collection agency starting in 2010.  We sent you 5 bills in 2009."

Imafuk:  "Whatever. I didn't get no bill.  This ain't my problem."

Me:  "Actually, it is.  The bill is your responsibility as is dealing with your insurance."

Here is where she made her biggest mistake...

Imafuk: "That bullshit, bitch."  And she hung up on me.

I don't care that she called me a bitch.  I know (and am proud of) what I am.  NO ONE hangs up on me. So, I called the office back and told my girl that I needed to speak to the head honcho right then.  She transferred me to the head honcho and guess what happened????


(yes, I know that was childish, but.....W.T.F.C.)


  1. No, point made. She needs to take care of her responsibilities. Not getting meds means she needs to pay her bill.

  2. ROTFL! how irritating! you deff made my day when i read this!

  3. LOL how you have any faith in humanity after having to deal with people like this is beyond me... That me an' I ain't gots no money, doe! Ain't mah responsibilililities, beoatch.