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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

QUIT. EFFING. JUDGING.

I should forewarn you, this blog is probably going to be R-rated mostly because of language.  So, if foul language offends you, stop reading now.

I'm pretty pissed off at the moment.  I'm actually beyond pissed.  I'm sick and fucking tired of people judging me.  Now to be fair - I'm a judgemental bitch too, but sometimes ya just gotta let the fuck up.  The worst part, is the people who judge me act like they are friends.  By act like, I mean exactly what I say - they pretend they are my friends.  They are the type of friends that have to tell you all about what's going on in their lives, but never fucking once ask you about what's going on in yours.  They actually know very little about you because they are so self-centered and self-involved that it never even crosses their little pea brain that they should ask about your life.  Chances are you have very little truly in common with these people - and you should know since you know everything about their life.

Here's the thing - I'm not a good friend.  Just ask my bestfriend, Trista.  I don't call often enough.  We rarely see each other and we only live about, what 25 miles apart??  The thing is, I know a lot about her life - I won't say everything, but a lot.  I will tell you that she knows everything about my life - everything.  She knows my dreams and goals. She knows my issues and demons.  She knows it all.  She is my best friend.  That said, because she does know and understand me and my life, she knows that I don't have time.

I know there are people out there with way more going on then me.  Shit, I know some of those people.  I guess they just handle it better.  90% of the time, if I tell you I'm busy, I'm frickin busy.  I'll be honest 10% of the time, I'm probably bullshitting you - not because I don't want to see you, but because I'm so fucking tired I just want to sit.

I am the kind of person that can't tell anybody no.  If you ask me to do something for you - especially a friend in need, I'm going to say yes even if I know it's going to end up wreaking havoc in my life.  It's a huge character flaw actually and drives Phil nuts.  I end up taking on way too much, but it's what I do. 

So here's my bitch....if I tell you I'm too fucking busy to do something for you - DON'T FUCKING JUDGE ME.  Here's a sample of my Tuesday schedule....

Up between 5:30-6 to leave the house by 6:30 for work. 
Work from 7-3
Bust ass to get to gymnastics practice from 3:15-5
Home by 5:20 for dinner and downtime
Take Meg to dance at 6:15
Home for homework
Pick Meg up from dance at 7:30
Home for downtime
Take Meg to and pick Jay up from basketball at 8.
Home for more homework
Bed by 10.

That's NORMAL.  Again, I realize there are people who have much nastier schedules and I'm sure they do it just fine.  That's mine and it fucking sucks and I wouldn't change a damn thing.  I am also aware that many people blow off my "school."  Oh yes, I am aware that I am attending a cracker jack box school.  I'm also aware that my degree means jack shit to all of you.  That's cool.  Cracker jack box school or not - it's college. College = flaming asston of homework.  DON'T FUCKING JUDGE ME.  The really funny thing is that those people that judge me - yeah, most don't have a college education.  There's some irony there somewhere.

1 comment:

  1. Did you miss the part where you had to pick up Megs from bball? I know where you get your not being able to say know. I worked four jobs at one time remember? Teaching, Kirtland, Selling candles, and overseeing ABC's for Parents. I completely understand. And for your 'friends' who are unaware, U of P Degrees carry as much weight as those from a Big 10 school.

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