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Tuesday, October 2, 2012

I conformed....

Yep, you read it right, I conformed.  I gave in to the haters. I bowed to what they wanted.  I have to admit I'm pretty embarrassed and actually ashamed of myself.  No, I'm not ashamed or embarrassed of my blog.  I'm ashamed and embarrassed that I didn't have the balls to leave it up. I'm ashamed and embarrassed that I allowed what someone else thought try to change me.

Here's the thing.  I posted the blog.  That blog was true for me.  Did you read that - FOR ME.  I didn't call out the town because I don't want people to pass judgment on it because of what I said.  Experience it yourself.  My blogs are just that - mine.  YOU don't have to read them.  You do have to click on it to read it.  Why in God's name you would click on it when it was titled "FUCK YOU" and think it was going to be some mushy gushy stuff, I don't know.  Not my problem.

I got a lot of hate mail.  To be honest, I laughed.  We are each entitled to our own opinions.  I respect that you have one - respect mine. You don't have to agree with me.  I'm totally ok with you not agreeing with me.  But I am allowed to have my own opinion. The one that did me in - and there was only one....was someone I had great respect for.  Someone who was unlike the rest and did not judge based on (I thought) what people believed.  This person shared with me how hateful and angry I was.  Here's the thing - I was pissed when I wrote it, but the reality is, I was pissed for that moment.  

Oddly enough, I'm not an angry person.  Although I play it well.  Anyway, because of that one person and how deeply hurt I was by him, I deleted the blog.  Then I got to thinking.  The more I thought, the more pissed I got.  Here's the thing - I get it.  You're pissed because I walked into your house and called you out.  I called you out to this little blog world in all your foulness.  Lemme ask you this, though, put this in a real life perspective...

Had I literally walked into your house - left and blogged about how nasty you are, would you have just sent me hate mail?  Would you have just passed it off as me being a psycho?  Would you have yelled about what an angry person I am (ironic I must say that you were YELLING about me being angry)? 

Or would you have done all of those AND turned around and looked at your house to see if there really was something wrong?  Wouldn't you want to ensure that I was just a raving lunatic?  Wouldn't you want to assure yourself that my claims were invalid?

Not one of you took the time to do that.  YOU judged me because I judged your "house." I judged your "house" based on MY experiences there.  Last time I checked, we all have different experiences.  That's why I'm totally ok with you loving your house.  That's fantastic - I'm GLAD you have good memories and great experiences.  No sarcasm - straight from the heart.  That's great.  BUT before you run around talking about how none of what I said is true - maybe you should check.

Just sayin.

5 comments:

  1. I have to say this once again SIS, I AM PROUD OF YOU! I know what you did wasnt the easiest thing to do.. Please know that you shown not only me but many of people that we need to stand up to things that matter.. Dont listen to the haters.. They just dont like change! The world needs more people like you! I just wish I had the self confidence to stand up! <3

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  2. Jamie I love every blog you post good,bad or indifferent because like you said the opinions expressed are YOUR'S and your's alone. An old friend of mine once told me when someone points a finger there are three pointing back a them all you can do is keep your side of the street clean. Keep doing what your doing
    Love You

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  3. Thank you, both of you - I needed that.

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  4. You need to put the blog back up, haters and all. It was your right to put it up. I know He hurt you and it was a deep cut. But think back to high school when that same person was the laughingstock. He didn't see it and you stood beside him in spite of it.

    This is your blog. Say what you like. I will still love you.

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  5. I agree with your mom Jamie, I like who you are & the fact you pull no punches! Never never never give up :)

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