Wednesday, October 19, 2011

True. Story.

Ignorance is bliss...true story.

So, Rachel answers the phone today while I'm chatting with Carri.  I notice Rachel turned to look at me at which point I assumed there was a moron on the phone.  What I did not know at the time was that Rachel was looking to see where I was because she thought it was me on the phone playing a prank.  I have NO idea why she would think that - do I look like a prankster?!?!?  *snicker*  Anyhoo, the phone conversation was odd and she finally put the person on hold and gave it to me.  This is how the conversation went....

"This is Jamie.  How can I help you?"

"Do you want to help me eemprove my Inklish?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you want to help me eemprove my Inklish?"

"Do you have an account with us?"

At this point there is unintelligible random babbling.  It may have been "inklish" I don't know as I am not familiar with this "language."  After a couple minutes of random babbling, I interrupted this person.

"Is there something I can help you with?  Do you need to pay a bill?"

"Do you want to help me eemprove my Inklish?"

Obviously, while I am highly amused, it's a little bit annoying.  So, I said, "Do you need to pay a bill?  Do you have money?"

"I have money."

"Are you going to pay?"

"Yes, I pay."

"What's your account number?"

"Do you want to help me eemprove my Inklish?"

Please insert large amounts of eye rolling and sighing.  Really??  So, again, "Do you have money?"  

"Yes, I have money." 

"Ok, let's pull up your account.  What's your name?"


And of course, he hangs up.  WTF.  We laughed and laughed.  What an idiot.  Yep, 10 minutes later he calls back.  I answered and of course it begins.

"You help me eemprove my Inklish?"

"Look, you're calling a business.  You need to call someone else to help you with that."

"What's your name?"

Really?  I already told the idiot my name.  "You need to call someone else.  This is a business."

"What do you do?"

Creeper is now annoying me.  So, I busted out some pig latin....same sentence 3 times, fast, just for kicks.  All I said was "do you speak pig latin" in pig latin of course.  He says, "You say it slower."  But of course - I repeat it again, just as fast, cuz I'm an asshole.  Again I point out to him that he needs to call someone else.  I could have just hung up, but the truth is, I was having fun being an ass.

"You can give me phone number."

WTF DO I LOOK LIKE?!?!?  A DAMN TELEPHONE BOOK???  So, I said, "No, you need to either look it up on the internet or use a phone book."

"You can give me number?"

"Nooooo, YOU find it. K, have a nice day."

That's it, that's the end of my story.  You have a nice day too.


  1. I promise as fun as it might have been, I didn't send him to you. ;)

  2. Aren't I so good at weird accents. ;)