Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Dear Mel,

You would think that I would forget the little things.  I wonder if normal people do?  It is hard to believe that it has been two years.  There are times when I wish I could have said good-bye.  Then I remember what that's like and am glad I didn't.  I remember the last time I spoke to you.  You were still in the hospital and your voice was barely a whisper.  The thing that sticks out in my mind the most is that you were still fighting.  As weak as you sounded, you still refused to give in.  I can honestly say, you never gave in.  You did make the decision to go home and I'm glad.  As much as it hurts to say that, I'm glad you did.  I know in my heart that you are no longer in pain and that you're happy.  I think it seriously stinks that your home now is so far away from us, but it's best for you.

Two years ago today I received that dreaded text message.  Two years ago today I sat on the phone with Sally and cried.  Pretty sure I also cursed you for me leaving me to figure out how to raise "our" son.  Two years ago I ran away to Grand Haven with my sister and her boyfriend with Phil and the kids to try and escape the hurt for a few hours.  Then I hopped in the car and took that dreaded trip to Texas.

I miss you, girly!  I wish you were here.  I know in spirit you are and that you will always live in our hearts, but there are moments when I sure could use your peppy positive attitude and outlook on life.  I'm sure you are amazed and proud of Eric.  He definitely did a lot of growing up over the past couple of years.  There are still moments when I wish you were here to help me figure out how to guide him.  Not that he needs it, but it's what moms do.

I am so thankful that we went to San Diego and had that time together. Those are memories no one can take away from me and that I don't have to share. 

Rest in peace, my friend, you may be gone, but will never be forgotten.

I love you.


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