Right now I'm procrastinating. I'm suppose to be doing homework. Here's the thing. I was laying on my bed last night staring at the ceiling. No, seriously. I was. I was laying on my bed with my head where my feet should have been, fully clothed staring at the ceiling. I was pondering my life. Now before I go on, let me say this - I love my life. I have the most amazing husband on the planet. I don't know how I got lucky enough for him to marry me, but I did. I could not ask for a better man. I have 4 beautiful children. All of them mean the world to me. I have an amazing family with loving moms, sisters, brothers, in-laws, aunts, uncles, grandparents. I have all that and I have some good friends.
What I was pondering last night is where I am today compared to where I thought I would be. Pretty sure I wrote somewhere that by this time in my life I would have my own dance studio and be married with a couple of kids. I'm pretty sure I assumed that I would have my big ass double major double minor as well.
Funny how things don't go how we think, eh? I don't have that double major/double minor. I'm 18 weeks from finally have a bachelors. Uh, I graduated high school in 1994. The fact that I'm just now getting my degree is nothing short of pitiful. I don't have my own dance studio and the I don't want that anymore.
I'm annoyed with myself. I'm annoyed with what I've allowed myself to become. I'm complacent and I hate that. My day consists of getting up, getting ready for work, sitting on my ass all day staring at a computer, coaching for a couple hours, going home and sitting on my ass for a few hours doing homework/facebooking/blogging. What does all of that equal? An incredibly large disgusting fat ass. *sigh*
Bah, I could go on for hours. I'm lazy. I'm fat. It's disgusting. It depresses me and yet I do nothing about it. That's awesome. Go me.
What I was pondering last night is where I am today compared to where I thought I would be. Pretty sure I wrote somewhere that by this time in my life I would have my own dance studio and be married with a couple of kids. I'm pretty sure I assumed that I would have my big ass double major double minor as well.
Funny how things don't go how we think, eh? I don't have that double major/double minor. I'm 18 weeks from finally have a bachelors. Uh, I graduated high school in 1994. The fact that I'm just now getting my degree is nothing short of pitiful. I don't have my own dance studio and the I don't want that anymore.
I'm annoyed with myself. I'm annoyed with what I've allowed myself to become. I'm complacent and I hate that. My day consists of getting up, getting ready for work, sitting on my ass all day staring at a computer, coaching for a couple hours, going home and sitting on my ass for a few hours doing homework/facebooking/blogging. What does all of that equal? An incredibly large disgusting fat ass. *sigh*
Bah, I could go on for hours. I'm lazy. I'm fat. It's disgusting. It depresses me and yet I do nothing about it. That's awesome. Go me.
So what do you want now? What are you going to do in 18 weeks to change things?
ReplyDeleteI'm not preaching. I'm proud of who you are. I was a couple years younger than you are when I uprooted us to start a new career. I loved my job. I miss it some days, but not enough to go back.
Now that I am officially 'old' I know what I want and where I want to be. Pretty scary to be thinking of uprooting myself again at this stage in my life. But, I am seriously thinking about it.
YOU have the POWER to make change happen. I know you will do it with your family in mind. I know I will support whatever you decide. Make YOUR dreams happen.