Women are evil...

No joke.  That is one true statement.  Women are evil bitches.  Ok, so there are a chosen few who are not, but for the most part we are all evil and all bitches.  I admit it, I am both.  Let's move on...


My rant for today includes those women who choose to treat their men (boyfriend, fiance, husband, whatever) like dog shit.  It's pretty common knowledge that all women like to be told they are beautiful.  It's even better if the person saying it is their significant other.  It's fantastic when it's a random stranger.  Anyway, I wonder how many women stop to think about their men.  I realize that most men will not admit to wanting to hear that a female finds them attractive, but it's true - they do.


Do you tell the one you love how sexy he is?  Do you tell him how good he looks?  Or are you one of those obnoxious bitches who professes her undying love for him and then tells him that she's not attracted to him - or that he needs to go workout. 


What really pisses me off is that the women that do these types of things are usually fat ass lazy fucking cows.  I'm serious - it's not the skinny, fit, beautiful women telling their SO that he's getting fat.  The women doing it are true lard asses themselves.  SERIOUSLY???  That's sorta the pot calling the kettle black isn't it?  That kind of shit really bugs the fuck out of me.


Coming from someone with obnoxiously low self-esteem - when a fucking fat ass ugly cow hints that I need to "do some work"  even though I try to hide it, it hurts me.  I can't imagine if Phil were to look at me and tell me that I was a fat ass - even though it's true.  I can't imagine him telling me that he's not attracted to me - I would be crushed.  


DON'T do that to the man you claim to love.  That's utter bullshit and you should be punched hard in the face with a brick.

I. Hate. People.

This is not a new blog for me.  This is an age old blog that just resurfaces from time to time.  Many comments have been made lately about the fact that I am a very negative and angry person.  I have two things to say about that.  Let me pose a question, however, to those that know me...am I? 

Here's the thing - I am not a negative angry person.  I AM, however, a very sarcastic person.  Why?  I am sarcastic because of all of the asshole people out there that I hate.  I am sarcastic to protect myself.  I use sarcasm as a defense mechanism.  If you would like to see my sarcasm as negative and angry - carry on.  Here's the bottom line...I DON'T GIVE A FAT FUCK WHAT YOU THINK.

I used to.  I used to think that I could not function without the approval of everyone.  The flaw was, I constantly failed.  I was miserable.  I was totally incapable of pleasing everyone - and highly unsuccessful at pleasing those that I felt I needed to please.  I'm not that person anymore.  I'm tired of trying to please everyone.  Instead, I just work to make those who mean the world to me happy.

I'm also insanely tired of people who try to make me feel bad for not agreeing wth them.  I apparently know a lot of people who are perfect.  I am not one of those people.  I am so far from perfect it's pretty comical.  I have learned that being perfect is not all it's cracked up to be.  I've also learned that being around perfect people is too stressful.  I'm trying to cut them out of my life - too much pressure for me.

Hmm, this blog didn't go where I had intended and I'm babbling now. I should stop.  The main point here is that I hate people.  I do not need thousands of friends.  I do not even want thousands of friends.  Friends take too much energy.  I'm not kidding.  You have to call and hang out and remember birthdays. Apparently you are also required to have the same beliefs and agree with everything they say.  I haven't the patience for that.  I also don't have the patience for the petty childish disagreements.

So, here's what I've decided.  I have a chosen few true friends.  Most of them have been friends for years.  They understand me - they know that I pretty much suck as a friend but that I'm here if they need me.  They know that I am self-absorbed.  They know that I'm sarcastic.  They accept me for who I am.  Those are the people I'm going to keep in my life.  I'm washing my hands of the rest of the world.  I'm washing my hands of those who choose to stab me in the back or talk about me when I'm not around.  I'm not in high school or junior high - I'm past that bull shit. The rest of the world is full of fucking assholes and I don't want to associate with them.

You're gonna charge me?

Got an email today.  Sorta pissed me off.  LOL!  I lie.  It seriously pissed me off.  The email was from the devil bitch band director at my daughter's school.  (Not a fan of her - can you tell?)  She did a mass email to all of the parents to notify us of when the next concert is.  Fantastic!  I like it when they send an email.  I can keep track of things and put them on our crazy calendar.  


As I read further into the email, though, I got annoyed.  Apparently, the next concert the kids are required to play at is in the evening for the band booster's spaghetti dinner.  So, we parents can sit and "enjoy" the dinner and bid on the auction items.  My issue?  Well, first of all, I sure would like more information.  If it's a fundraiser, am I going to be required to pay to watch my child's concert?  I'm not interested in eating the food.  Second, I don't like being tricked into things.  That's bullshit.  


I already can't stand this lady.  She's a hag among other things.  I'm actually not putting my son in band because of her.  Whining?  A little, but it's how I feel.

Let's add to the list....

Did I not forewarn you that there would most definitely be more?  Ok, I shall now add on to my previous list.  What number were we on???

4.  The sloppy sloth "volunteer" in our office.  By volunteer, I mean the person who is required to volunteer at some business until she gets a job because she has spent SO many years getting state aid while not working.  Awesome.  So, I've spent the last 10 years supporting your lazy ass while you cranked out 3 kids and stayed at home with no means of support of your own.  Yes, I sure do love people like you.  You are required to volunteer in our office 15 hours per week - to a normal person, that means 15 hours, to your lazy sloth ass it means whenever you feel the need to roll in here (in your jammies unshowered, of course).  Your schedule is M/W/F from 8-1.  Monday you not only did not show up, you didn't call (from your iPhone - seriously, you have a fucking iPhone and no fucking job??).  Wednesday you showed up at 11.  That's close to 8 (are we sensing the sarcasm?).  You told the office manager you would be here from 8-4 today.  OMFG YOU'RE GOING TO BE HERE ALL FUCKING DAY.  Somebody hand me a letter opener so I can stab myself in the temple.  Right, what was I thinking.  You, of course, called with an excuse at 9 about why you wouldn't be here until 10 and then you just now showed up (it's 10:30 fucktard).  L.O.S.E.R.  I have no idea why you can't find a job...

5.  FUCKING VOICEMAIL TREES FROM HELL.  So, I have to call an out of state Blue Cross policy today.  Of course, the automated asshole comes on and informs me that everything is electronic so I should not need to speak to a live person.  Here's the problem, they sent us a check with no notation as to what account it is for.  No patient name or ID, no date of service, NOTHING.  Right.  So, the automated douche bag informs me I must either put in the patient's ID number or SSN.  -__-  Really?  Of course, it's also voice activated.  So, I said "customer service."  It then tells me I do not need customer service - again.  To which I replied, "are you seriously fucking kidding me?"  It did not know how to respond to that.  Huh.  Weird.

Assholes and more assholes

What time is it?  Good grief, it's 7:04 a.m. on a frickin FRIDAY and I'm already blogging.  What does that mean?  It means I'm already annoyed and I haven't even had a damn Mt. Dew yet.  *sigh*  Today's annoyances include:

1. If you fucked something up yesterday that seriously pissed me off, but I'm trying really hard to be nice to you now and you're still acting like an asshole - I'M GOING TO BE A BIGGER BITCH.  Seriously now, you fucked it up.  I'm trying to get past it and move on, but you're being an asshole.  FUH-INE.  I got your asshole and I'll raise it my bitch.

2.  If you are unable to drive the speed limit on dry roads, this is what I need you to do.  I need you to take your driver's license to either a local police station or secretary of state and hand it to someone that works at either place.  Then, I need you to recite the following:  "I am a fucktard.  I am unable to drive the speed limit on dry roads and therefore am not worthy of having a driver's license.  I am not old or disabled, I am just a fucktard.  Please take my license and destroy it."

3.  When you walk down the middle of the lane in the parking garage, I will hit you.  FUCKING MOVE.

Ok, I believe my venting is done for the moment, but since this is how the day is starting, I assure you, there will be more.  Stay tuned....

Fuck it.

I am so fucking frustrated right now it's not even close to funny.  I'm actually frantically typing this through my tears.  WHAT.THE.FUCK.  I'm so fucking tired of making an effort in life just to get fucked.  What's my issue today?  My issue today is that I'm poor white trash.  The specific problem?  I have no fucking dental coverage.  So, my daughter has a spacer in her mouth that should have "popped out" according to the dentist that put it in 6 years ago.  I have a son with at least one cavity. AND I have an abcessed tooth because a fucking cavity fell out. 

So, I got some putty shit to plug the hole in my tooth which is fine for now unless there's a big ugly infection in there then things could go real bad.  I've called almost 20 dentists in the past week or so.  Getting the tooth pulled will cost me between $300-500.  A root canal will cost me between $1700-2500.  WHERE THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSE TO GET THAT.  I can't even afford to live let alone have a spare $300 for someone to pull out a tooth.

Today I got the bright idea to contact "Carefree dental."  WHAT A MOTHER FUCKING JOKE.  First, I have to be a patient of carefree medical.  Um, I don't need a primary care. I don't go to the doctor unless I'm near to dead and then I only go to redi-care.  Not necessary.  AND THEN after I make them my "primary care"  THEN THEN THEN there is ONLY an 8 month wait to get into the dental part. 

FUCK MY FUCKING FUCKED UP LIFE.

Whatever, if I die from a fucking infection in my mother fucking tooth, please forward this on to all the fucking bastards that have made it impossible for we poor people (you know, 90% of the fucking population of the US) to get dental/medical care.  FUCK THEM.

Not really a bucket list...

I'm not really sure why I was thinking of these things....ok, yeah I do know why.  It's cheesy. Don't judge me.  I was doing homework and procrastinating, of course and watching the High School Musical movies.  Why?  Well, I don't give a rats rump about football so I couldn't care less about the Super Bowl.  So, I locked myself up in my room and turned on something that wouldn't really distract me - well, not much anyways.


Ok, I digress.  There's a part in one of them - the third I think where the main characters are dancing in the rain and that got me to thinking.  Scary, I know.  These are things I want to do....it's sort of a bucket list, I guess, but that wasn't how I was thinking of it.  


1. Dance in the rain with someone I love.
2. Watch the sunset on a beach.
3. Travel to Italy.


I'm sure there are more.  Those are just the ones I thought of off the top of my head. I'll add more later. 

Um ok

Right now I'm procrastinating.  I'm suppose to be doing homework.  Here's the thing.  I was laying on my bed last night staring at the ceiling.  No, seriously.  I was.  I was laying on my bed with my head where my feet should have been, fully clothed staring at the ceiling.  I was pondering my life.  Now before I go on, let me say this - I love my life.  I have the most amazing husband on the planet.  I don't know how I got lucky enough for him to marry me, but I did.  I could not ask for a better man.  I have 4 beautiful children.  All of them mean the world to me.  I have an amazing family with loving moms, sisters, brothers, in-laws, aunts, uncles, grandparents.  I have all that and I have some good friends.


What I was pondering last night is where I am today compared to where I thought I would be. Pretty sure I wrote somewhere that by this time in my life I would have my own dance studio and be married with a couple of kids.  I'm pretty sure I assumed that I would have my big ass double major double minor as well.  


Funny how things don't go how we think, eh?  I don't have that double major/double minor.  I'm 18 weeks from finally have a bachelors.  Uh, I graduated high school in 1994.  The fact that I'm just now getting my degree is nothing short of pitiful.  I don't have my own dance studio and the I don't want that anymore.


I'm annoyed with myself.  I'm annoyed with what I've allowed myself to become.  I'm complacent and I hate that.  My day consists of getting up, getting ready for work, sitting on my ass all day staring at a computer, coaching for a couple hours, going home and sitting on my ass for a few hours doing homework/facebooking/blogging.  What does all of that equal?  An incredibly large disgusting fat ass.  *sigh*


Bah, I could go on for hours.  I'm lazy.  I'm fat.  It's disgusting.  It depresses me and yet I do nothing about it.  That's awesome.  Go me.