Dear Inappropriate Asshat,

First, I would like to thank your mother for not suffocating you as a child.  No really, I'm glad you're still breathing the same air as me.  That's great.  Second, I would like to thank your father for donating the obviously demented sperm to create you.

I do not know where (or more likely - IF) you went to school or where you grew up.  Ha, I mean, where you lived from birth to now as you have obviously not grown up; HOWEVER, it is quite obvious that you are an uneducated juvenile worthless piece of shit.

What was my first clue?  Well, that would be the fact that you're probably between 35-45, walking through the hospital with your "sagging" shorts with (of course) your whitey tighties showing.  (This proves that you actually are a douchecanoe)  Along with the unkept hair and filthy wife-beater shirt on. 

The second clue was when you looked at me and said, "Hey, baby, nice rack." 


Excuse me?  Let's get one thing clear, while you are in fact correct and I do actually have a "nice rack" what you said is offensive.  I am not, have never been, nor will I ever be your baby.  Fuck off.  Second, don't address me by the size of my chest.  LOOK AT MY FUCKING EYES IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME FUCKTARD.

Although, I realize you can't do that.   I know that if you look into my eyes you will realize that you really are a disgrace to the human race and a boil on the ass of society.  So, instead, you choose to prove this point by gawking at my boobs. 

You're damn lucky I have class.  You're also damn lucky there were a bunch of people around since I considered showing you another great asset...my ability to kick you in the nuts AND laugh about it. Please, for the sake of humanity, never speak again. 

Sincerely,
The Bitch

It's called SPELL CHECK!

Yes, i am awear that i were bichin about this the other day, but I thawt it needed re-visiting.  FOR GOD'S SAKE USE THE DAMN SPELL CHECK, YOU IDIOTS.  Do you know how hard it was for me to even type that first sentence all shitty like that.  Good frickin grief - and then to not go back and fix it...UGH.

So, I'm still getting resumes sent to me for the two positions we have open.  Thankfully, (hopefully) I will be able to close that soon and I won't be receiving these atrocities anymore.  This is an example of the "cover letter" type things I have been getting...

"Dear Sir or Madam I read with great interest you ad for Medical Receptionist which apppeared in The Micigan Talant Bank,. I am encouraged as my background matches the qualifications you are seeking. As you will not from my enclosed resume, I recently graduated from (insert the name of an incredibly bad "teaching" institute here) as Medical Billing and Coding. Although I ecelled in both clinical and administrative skills, the administrative area is where I feel most confident. Many of my qualifications center around clinical field. I feel this experience, along with newly acquired clerical skills, makes me an excellent candidate for your Medical Receptionist position. I look forward to meeting you personally and will call next week to arrage a meeting at your conveniece. I welcome the opportunity to prove that I can make an effective contribution to the company."

Ok, so, I'm pretty sure you can pick out the obvious issues - and if not, you're an idiot too.  There are so many spelling errors in here, there's not one teeny tiny slim chance in hell that I would ever even remotely consider this person a candidate for any position other than to be showcased on my blog for not taking the damn time to do it right. Spelling issues aside...IT'S NOT A MEDICAL RECEPTIONIST POSITION.  I get that this is probably a generic cover letter, but you have to change the damn position title, MORON.

Nevermind that it is quite obvious to me that she certainly did "ecell" in her administrative skills - as proven by her stellar cover letter.  I assure you, the resume is just as beautiful. 

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