Bill collectors that can suck my A$$

So, back in the day, I may have had some issues paying some bills.  As in I never had any money and never paid medical bills.  All this resulted in my credit being in the toilet.  I realized (a bit later than I should have) that my credit being in the toilet was not doing me any favors.  So, for the past, roughly, 9 years I have busted my ass to repair my credit.  It's pretty good now - not great yet, but pretty damn good.

Medical bills I am pretty quick to pay along with the normal day to day stuff.  Why?  Cuz regardless what people tell you, medical bills DO make a difference on your credit.  Those looking at your credit to consider whether they want to loan you money WILL look at those medical bills. 

Right, so, the purpose for my blog (because I'm rather pissed off at the moment - of course) is this woman that called me today.  I understand that it's not her fault and she's just doing her job, but if you're going to call me and harrass me YOU BETTER FUCKING LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY.

Here's the scenario - in January of 2008 we ended up at the hospital for a child.  It was nothing major - but some of the services had to be done at the hospital.  I, being the loyal employee that I am, chose to go to, um where I thought I should? (F.A.I.L.). Never in my life have I come across more incompetent billing staff.  I've got no beef with the doctors/nurses, but GOOD FRICKIN GOD YOU ASSHOLES, IT'S NOT THAT HARD.  Anyway, I received a bill for a portion of my deductible.  It was around $66.  So, I called them to make a payment over the phone as I thought that would be easier than sending a check. *insert hysterical laughter here.*

I call.  I speak to some dumb ass twit who takes my credit card number, expiration date, cv code, street address, and zip code.  Fabulous.  So it's all good, right?  No, this rinky dink backwards jacked up hillbilly run billing office does not run the card with you on the phone and give you a confirmation number - why?  WELL DUH - because their employees are incompetent jackasses of course.  So, a few weeks later, I get a call from said dumb ass twit.  She tells me my credit card was rejected.

Ok, 5 years ago, it would have been entirely quite possible and pretty probable that my card would be rejected.  Now, absolutely not.  I'm not bragging - we're far from rich, but we make damn sure that there is money in there at all times.  While speaking with the dumb ass twit, it comes to my attention that she is also hard of hearing.  For when I gave her my street numbers of 1560, she heard 1506 and is therefore what was put into the credit card machine.  *sigh*  Fine, accidents happen, no biggie.  So, she once again thanks me and hangs up.

Two weeks later - oh yes, a new dumb ass twit calls me.  My card has been "rejected."  Please refer to the previous paragraph.  Once again we have to go over all of my information and oddly enough, they have fouled up the expiration date.  Right, at this point, I'm slightly annoyed and I told the girl that.  She apologizes profusely, assures me it will be taken care of and hangs up the phone.

Unfortunately, the story does not end here.  We got at least 3 more bills and at least 3 more phone calls from these blithering idiots.  They fouled up the credit card number, the expiration again and something else.  I finally informed them that I was done.  I have attempted to pay the bill multiple times and that the fact that they are stupid is not my problem.  I'm done.  NOT. PAYING. THE. DAMN. BILL.  Eat your stupid $66.

Fast forward to today - I received a phone call at work - which always pisses me off from some woman who started off the conversation after I said hello by saying "Put Phillip on the phone."  Ha.  Yeah, you obviously don't know who you are speaking to.  First of all, don't call me and then dictate orders, bitch.  You want something from me, you better speak nicely.  Second, who the hell is this crazy cow asking for "Phillip" - there are about 3 people on this planet that can get away with calling him that and this unknown elephant on the phone was not one of them.  I, being my polite and kind self said, "Excuse me?"  To which she asked who she was speaking with.  Yep, that annoys the fuck out of me too.  YOU called MY phone.  If you don't know who you're calling, I'm not interested.  Peace out, biotch. 

Of course, right before I hung up - she dropped the "magic" word - debt.  So, I (still being nice-ish) asked what she wanted.  She references the above issue with Ingham.  I started to explain to her the issue and she said - "Whatever your pointless excuses, I am not interested.  I am collecting a debt and none of your foolish sob stories will work on me, I have heard them all.  You need to pay your bill presently or we will take you to court."

Well, as you can imagine, with my calm and quiet tendencies, that went over REAL well....my response to her was - something along the lines of "Go ahead and take me to court for $66.  I documented every conversation I have had about this bill. It's going to cost you more to drag me into court than it will to send me another bill. Do what you have to do."

Here's where she really pissed me off. Her reply?  "You deadbeats are the all same." 

I'm not going to post my reply on here as it was not overly polite.  So, my advice - never ever try to pay a bill local hospitals using your credit card - always send a check.

Homophobia

I am so annoyed with this bullshit I am currently hearing on the radio.  I know that there are people out there that are homophobic and that's ok.  I'm not.  I have no issue with homosexuality.  I am a "to each their own" kind of person.  I don't like the flamboyant obnoxious displays of affection - but I am not a fan of that from heterosexuals either.

So, I'm listening to this morning show on a local radio station (that I despise as I feel it is totally inappropriate for anyone under the age of 18 and yet the station targets the younger kids - I digress...).  Today is "free advice Thursday."  This always involves some form of trash calling in to get advice - i.e. the first lady who needed advice on how to get her significant other to "give it up."  *sigh* REALLY?!?!?!  Who calls a radio station for that shit?  Again, I digress.

The second caller is the one that has me all pissed off.  This "mother" calls in about her son.  She is angry at her husband because said husband has not gotten their son involved in sports.  (Apparently it is solely a father's responsibility to get a boy involved in sports).  The son (I missed the kid's age) wants to go to a band camp and some other performance camp.  This woman called in all concerned and asking for advice on what to do because she doesn't want to send her son to band camp because SHE DOESN'T WANT TO ENCOURAGE HIM TO BE GAY.

You have got to be seriously fucking kidding me.  I'm so damned tired of people judging others.  IT'S NOT YOUR GOD DAMN PLACE.  You don't "catch" homosexuality.  Not every guy that plays an instrument is gay.  Shockingly enough, not every guy that acts is gay either - WILL SMITH YOU MORONS.  Gonna tell me he's gay??? 

What the hell is wrong with people??  What's wrong with gay people??  I have a few gay friends and quite a few gay/lesbian acquaintances.  SO FUCKING WHAT.  They are people - just like you and I.  The only difference is their sex life and to be completely honest with you - I don't want to know about yours, or theirs anymore than I want you to know about mine. 

Yes, there are those of you that are going to ask me if I want my son to be gay.  Duh, of course not.  I hope that both of my kids grow up as heterosexuals, get married, have kids, blah blah blah.  Why?  Not because I would be embarrassed.  NO NO NO.  Because life will be so much harder for them if they are homosexual - look at the number of people reading this judging homosexuals right now.  THAT I do not want for my kids. 

My point here is - if you want to spew your bullshit, don't do it on the radio.  Just makes people like me want to call in and tell you what a low life piece of judgemental garbage you are and to send your husband a check to pay for your son's band camp/music lessons.

Emotionally and Mentally Exhausted

So there's pretty much only one other time in my life that I remember feeling like this.  Oddly enough, it was right before we left the gym.  I'm overwhelmed.  Now, before you all start talking about how you know how I feel and that you totally understand or telling me to just buck up and deal with it.  SHUT THE HELL UP.  Very few people know what I'm talking about.  I'm not saying my life is any worse than anyone elses.  As a matter of fact, my life is pretty damn good.  All I'm saying is right now - at this moment - I am just shy of a breakdown...again.

Those of you that were around when we left the gym know what my "life" was like then...7-3 at the "real" job, home to change, 4-9 in the gym.  Doesn't seem like a big deal except for the fact that I NEVER saw my family unless we were in the gym and I did it 5 days a week for about 6 years.  I missed all of Jason's first year of soccer.  I missed all school events.  I forgot what my husband looked like...ok, maybe not but still.

Anyways, I'm there again. I'm THAT overwhelmed.  Work, school, kids' school, kids' sports, etc.  I know there are plenty of other people out there that do the same thing and probably handle it better.  It doesn't help that I just (sort of) finished taking what my advisor said was the hardest class I will take and had to spend days (as in all day long and well into the evening) studying and doing homework.  It doesn't help that I was in a group (for school) with people who couldn't be bothered to do their work so on top of doing my own I had to do theirs as well.  It doesn't help that I feel like I have to be there for everyone else all the time. 

I've always been that way - if you need me - call me, text me, email me - whatever.  The catch is, though,  who's going to be there for me?  Who's there for me today when I am so close to tears from exhaustion and frustration that if I blink they will fall?  I can count 11 people who will respond and say that they will be there...the reality of it is, though,  there are pretty much only 2 who will actually listen and get me through.

Yes, I'm having a pity party.  I'm beyond tired.  I hate school.  I want to be done.  (PS kids - go to college after high school...don't wait until you're an old fart like me).  I want to be able to relax.  I want to be able to enjoy spending time with my kids.  I want to be able to go on a summer vacation before they are too old to appreciate it.  I want to be able to go on a date.  I would love to be able to have the time to dance. 

Instead, I will go home and cry myself to sleep.

No Tears in Heaven

I've been accused of loving too much - of caring too deeply.  I didn't think that was possible, but I'm beginning to think it's true.  Anyone who really knows me knows that when I love, I love with my entire being.  If you are a part of my life - truly - not just a casual acquaintance chances are, I would do damn near to anything for you. The flaw with this is that tragedy or loss cuts me right to  the core.  


I would like to think I can handle just about anything.  I've had multiple obstacles thrown in my way over the past 34 1/2 years and I've handled them.  Maybe I haven't handled them in the best way all the time, but I got past it.  The one thing I don't or can't seem to figure out how to deal with is death.  It is my biggest fear and one that hovers in my mind all the time.  I'm sure there are any number of reasons for this, and I am well aware that everyone dies, but that does not make it easier for me.  It is the one thing that cuts straight to my heart and is almost debilitating for me.  


My mom and I moved "up there" when I was almost 13.  I don't have hardly any good memories from the 5 years I spent there.  As a matter of fact, I despise it so much there that I avoid going there if at all possible.  The first three months we lived there I cried just about every day.  I wanted to live with my grandparents and go back to school with normal people - you know, people that didn't think it was a treat to go to the mall and "see a real live black person."  Yeah, this is the hell I lived in.  


Anyway, there were a chosen few people that made my life there easier. I made friends with our neighbors out back pretty quick.  I suppose some might think it odd as they were an elderly couple (my grandparents' age). BUT they saved me more than they will ever know.  I enjoyed sharing hot chocolate with Bill and Edna and had a great time chatting with them.  I helped them out around their yard.  They saved my dumb ass dog from her suicide attempts multiple times and they watched out for my mom for me after I moved to Lansing.  


I know my mom is a big girl and can take care of herself, but I'm kind of protective and I hated her living up there all by herself.  Bill and Edna were like my surrogate grandparents.  They treated me like a little adult and a grandchild and made me feel loved in a place where - other than my mom - I felt hated.  


I lost contact - or I should say, I stopped calling, quite a few years ago.  Basically, when I stopped going up there.  My mom kept me informed of how they were and any exciting news.  On the rare occasions that I did go up, I always stopped to say hi.  


My mom told me this morning that Bill passed away.  I am heart broken.  I know he is in a better place and that he is at peace, but as always, I crave that one last hug.


RIP Bill, you will be greatly missed and forever loved.

Stupid is as stupid says...

Ok, well, I'm annoyed, not that you couldn't have figured that out.  I ususally only blog like this when I'm annoyed.  The thing is, my annoyance is probably solely caused by my lack of sleep.  If you know me, you know I require 7-9 hours of sleep per night in order to be a decent human being.  Last week I averaged 5-6 then got a good 11 hours in Saturday night.  However, sleeping until 11 on Sunday makes going to bed at a decent hour Sunday night difficult - so the vicous cycle starts again - and I am in bitch mode.

My issue at the moment is people who say stupid stuff and think nothing of it.  Someone who will remain un-named (although it was no one that lives in my house, thankfully) made a snarky comment to me yesterday that initially annoyed me and now just flat out pisses me off.  This person basically said that he/she would not want to live if he/she was not fully functional. 

WTF does that mean?  I know what it meant, because I know what was being discussed prior to that and that's why I am pissed.  Are you saying that someone with a prosthetic leg is not fully functional?  Even though that person could potentially run a marathon, does that prosthetic leg make them not fully functional?  How about those who are deaf?  They are not fully functional?  Even though they can hold jobs just like you and I?  ARE YOU SAYING that my brother is not fully functional because he has one bum fucking arm?  Excuse me?  See, I was fine with it (ish) until it got a bit personal.  Who the hell are you to define what fully functional is?  Granted, I do not believe I know anyone with a prosthetic leg, I can tell you that my brother is fully functional - and one of the most amazing men I have ever known. 

Of course, due to the exhaustion, I haven't been able to let this go and it's still stewing.  I guess, my next question would be, so you're saying if you're not "fully functional" you would rather die?  Because you are so fucking vain, you would rather die than watch your kids graduate from high school?  Or get married?  What kind of person thinks like that?  Who values life so little to be willing to give it up because of an obstacle?

Life is full of obstacles.  I want to surround myself with people that will help me get over mine and I want to be there to help others get over theirs.  But I also want to surround myself with people who have compassion for those who are not "fully functional" and people who value the life we were given and live it to the fullest REGARDLESS of what is thrown at them.

K, I think I'm done.  Unfortunately, I'm still pissed.