Disgusted.

I realize I can be, ummmm, well, ok, a little bit (a lotta bit) overly protective of my children.  I know that some people disagree with the things that I do NOT allow them to do.  I'm sure there are some that disagree with the things I DO allow them to do as well, but whatever.  It is what it is and I am who I am.  


Both of my children have facebook.  Both of my children are well aware of the fact that I stalk their facebook.  Not only do I stalk their pages from my own, but I also log in under them from time to time and stalk.  That is my right and those are the rules.  Why do I do that?  To keep my kids safe primarily.  Also, to find out what is going on in their lives that they don't tell me about. 


For example, learning of the raging parties where the alcohol and drugs are distributed freely.  To learn by seeing their friends pages who is taking part in the alcohol and drugs.  To educate myself so as not to be completely blind-sided when I find out my child is taking part.  Obsessive?  Some may say yes.  I say protective.


Here's the thing, I know that one of my children has a mouth.  Well, both do, but one is far more vocal.  Anyway, I am also not blind to the fact that that mouth is not always "clean."  I'm not stupid.  I know said mouth is probably as bad as mine.  Said child knows that I know this.  All of that said, both of my children know that it is considered absolutely completely and totally unacceptable to be cussing on their facebook pages.  SERIOUSLY?  I do not allow "slang" cuss words either - "eff" is not allowed.  "af" is not allowed.  NONE of that is allowed.  Why?  Well first of all, that's just inappropriate.  Intelligent, well-mannered children do not cuss and swear in public - which facebook is regardless of how "private" you think your profile is.  And secondly, it makes the parents look like disgusting trash.


When your child posts something on his or her facebook page that says something along the lines of "bitch, ur ugly 'af" and you let it go, not only does your child come off as trash, but so do you.  YOU look like a bad parent.  YOU look like you have taught your children NO manners.  What really irritates the hell out of me is when the parents respond to such a post and say something like "haha, so true."  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?


Ugh.  I love facebook.  I vent on facebook.  I play on facebook.  I hate facebook.  I hate that I gave in and allowed my kids to have facebook.  I wish facebook didn't exist.  I wish parents paid attention.  Since that is not the case, I wish parents took the time to stalk their kids.  I wish they could open their eyes and see that even though your child says, "he did this and she did this, but I didn't do this" that that is utter bullshit.  You think your child tells you everything, I assure you, that is not the case.  You heard rumors about what another child did that floored you.  The reality is, it was your child, but no one wants to tell you.  


At what point are parents going to parent?  WAKE UP AND PAY ATTENTION!  You only get to  instill good morals and values for a limited period of time - then it's up to them.  Don't you want better for them?  Sheesh, be selfish - do you really want to look like trash?  Like the parent who agrees with their child when he/she calls someone else a bitch.  Ugh.

*sniffle*

So, I've spent some time coaching.  I'd like to think I was a good influence in their lives, but of course, I don't always know.  I've got a bunch of kids on my facebook and love it.  This conversation I stumbled on today that pretty much brought tears to my eyes...yes, I'm a sap, but it's moments like these when I realize that at least for some of the kids, I made a difference...


Gymnast 1's original post on Gymnast 2's wall - "i misssss youuuuu' (:"

G2 - "miss youuuu too"

The post goes on for a bit with them discussing when they can get together and then...

G1 - "have you talked to anyone from gymnastics"

G2 - then names a couple she has spoken to and a couple she wishes she had contact with

The conversation goes on a bit with the reminiscing about gymnastics and then

G1 - "omg, i miss jamie!  i haven't seen her in forever! she was my fav coach (:"

G2 - "i'm friends with her...i miss her too...it was so sad when she left she was the best"

That whole conversation COMPLETELY made my day.  I love all the girls I have coached over the years.  I miss them more than any of them can imagine and I hold them all dear even now.  I'm certainly NOT the best coach - no where near it, but I appreciate that they loved me and still think of me.  I feel special <3

My perfection

So, I spend a lot of my blogging time bitching about some thing or another.  I would like to think that those who know me know that I am not that person.  I'm actually a pretty happy person, I just prefer to share the stupid and annoying stuff mostly because it's funny and I love to make people laugh - even if it is at my expense. 


Anyway, I was pondering last night how blessed I am.  My life is perfect.  By perfect, I mean it's flawed in all the right ways.  I try to keep some parts of my life private.  There are some things that don't need to be shared.  I'm also not one to be a blubbering sappy fool in public.  That said, I want to take a moment to share why I think my life is perfect.


11 1/2 years ago I married my soulmate.  I am sure when we got married there were a great many people (some of my family included) who never thought this marriage would last.  In all honesty, I'm not sure Phil and I thought it would last to begin with.  This man is by far the absolute most perfect man for me.  Is he perfect? Absolutely not, but guess what - neither am I.  Does he have annoying habits?  Absolutely, but so do I. Does he occasionally piss me off?  Sure, but you guessed it - I piss him off too.  The thing is, he is my everything.  He loves me like no one else on this planet can.  He takes care of me.  He listens to me bitch.  He's been through hell with me.  He tolerates - and even likes - my family....most of them.  He's intelligent - so I can have intelligent conversations with him.  I find him incredibly handsome.  I, honestly, cannot ever imagine my life without him.


I have 4 beautiful children.  Although, 2 of them are adults, they are still my kids.  Like Phil, they are not perfect, but they are mine and they are perfect in every way that is important to me.  They make me laugh.  They make me proud and they even make me cry.  They are worth every breath I take. 


I have a beautiful home that I love.  I have a job with an amazing boss.  I have an obnoxious little devil dog.  I have all the creature comforts that I need and most of what I want.


I have the most amazing support system on the planet.  I have the best friend a girl could ask for.  Trista is my rock.  She is and always has been there for me.  She is my lifeline.  My family is amazing - both sides.  I think I'm pretty lucky to have two different families.  Some might find that annoying - I see it as more people to love me and my husband and kids.  Do they drive me nuts?  Sure, but like with Phil - I know I do the same to them.


I've got some kick ass friends.  Those that I spend a lot of time with and those friends that even though I don't spend a lot of time with them that I know are there for me if I need them. Who can ask for more than that?


My life is crazy and busy and hectic and stressful and annoying.  My life is perfect.

QUIT. EFFING. JUDGING.

I should forewarn you, this blog is probably going to be R-rated mostly because of language.  So, if foul language offends you, stop reading now.

I'm pretty pissed off at the moment.  I'm actually beyond pissed.  I'm sick and fucking tired of people judging me.  Now to be fair - I'm a judgemental bitch too, but sometimes ya just gotta let the fuck up.  The worst part, is the people who judge me act like they are friends.  By act like, I mean exactly what I say - they pretend they are my friends.  They are the type of friends that have to tell you all about what's going on in their lives, but never fucking once ask you about what's going on in yours.  They actually know very little about you because they are so self-centered and self-involved that it never even crosses their little pea brain that they should ask about your life.  Chances are you have very little truly in common with these people - and you should know since you know everything about their life.

Here's the thing - I'm not a good friend.  Just ask my bestfriend, Trista.  I don't call often enough.  We rarely see each other and we only live about, what 25 miles apart??  The thing is, I know a lot about her life - I won't say everything, but a lot.  I will tell you that she knows everything about my life - everything.  She knows my dreams and goals. She knows my issues and demons.  She knows it all.  She is my best friend.  That said, because she does know and understand me and my life, she knows that I don't have time.

I know there are people out there with way more going on then me.  Shit, I know some of those people.  I guess they just handle it better.  90% of the time, if I tell you I'm busy, I'm frickin busy.  I'll be honest 10% of the time, I'm probably bullshitting you - not because I don't want to see you, but because I'm so fucking tired I just want to sit.

I am the kind of person that can't tell anybody no.  If you ask me to do something for you - especially a friend in need, I'm going to say yes even if I know it's going to end up wreaking havoc in my life.  It's a huge character flaw actually and drives Phil nuts.  I end up taking on way too much, but it's what I do. 

So here's my bitch....if I tell you I'm too fucking busy to do something for you - DON'T FUCKING JUDGE ME.  Here's a sample of my Tuesday schedule....

Up between 5:30-6 to leave the house by 6:30 for work. 
Work from 7-3
Bust ass to get to gymnastics practice from 3:15-5
Home by 5:20 for dinner and downtime
Take Meg to dance at 6:15
Home for homework
Pick Meg up from dance at 7:30
Home for downtime
Take Meg to and pick Jay up from basketball at 8.
Home for more homework
Bed by 10.

That's NORMAL.  Again, I realize there are people who have much nastier schedules and I'm sure they do it just fine.  That's mine and it fucking sucks and I wouldn't change a damn thing.  I am also aware that many people blow off my "school."  Oh yes, I am aware that I am attending a cracker jack box school.  I'm also aware that my degree means jack shit to all of you.  That's cool.  Cracker jack box school or not - it's college. College = flaming asston of homework.  DON'T FUCKING JUDGE ME.  The really funny thing is that those people that judge me - yeah, most don't have a college education.  There's some irony there somewhere.

Welcome back...

Well, today was the day.  This was the first day of true gymnastics practice.  I had some of "my" girls.  It's funny.  I've never been the best gymnastics coach.  That's not to say I wasn't good at what I did, but I was certainly never the best.  My biggest asset to the kids I coached (I think) was that I loved them.  Yes, I have a gymnastics background, albeit a poor one.  I have years and years of dance.  I have a passion for this sport and I love kids.


Being in the gym today was a bit of an eye opener for me.  High school is definitely different than club.  Then again, most clubs are completely different from the last one I was in.  I knew there would be adjustments for me, but I actually felt out of place today.  


I've been out for so long.  It doesn't seem like it's been that long.  In fact, there are days that it feels like I just left.  The reality is though, it's been a while.  I have to basically re-learn how to coach.  I have to remember everything that I learned while coaching and I have to figure out how to relay what I want to these girls.  It's different coaching high school girls in a high school gym atmosphere.  These girls, while dedicated to their high school sport, are entirely different than the girls I have coached in the past.


I have to learn how to speak to them.  I cannot bark at them like I did the girls in the gym.  I have to make sure they are comfortable enough with me that it is ok for me to touch them.  As a gymnastics coach, there's a lot of touching going on.  I do not want the girls to be uncomfortable with me putting their bodies in the appropriate shape.  I have to learn how to function with far less equipment than what I am used to and I have to figure out how to teach them the skills they need without treating them like babies.


Yep, definitely an adjustment period.  I actually questioned my abilities today.  There are only two other times that I felt so unqualified for this.  The first time was the first day I ever coached at Great Lakes and the second time was the first time I coached my own class at Twistars.  I know that it will get better and I know that I will find my niche again, it's just hard to not be the coach I was at Twistars but still offer the girls the same level of instruction.