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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Unsung Heroes

I'm going to step away from the norm for a second here.  I usually rant about stupid people. I'm going to do a complete flip here.  I think that quite often there are unsung heroes in our lives that get very little, if any, recognition.


Easter Sunday I had the pleasure of eating dinner (a fabulous one, by the way) with some great people.  Among those great people was my friend's 86 year old grandmother.  She's quite a treat, I have to tell you!  Anyway, on the way home, I was thinking about my grandparents.  I tell my mom quite often (I think) how much I love and appreciate her.  I don't do that as much with my grandparents and I should. 


My grandparents helped raise me.  Some of my greatest memories are with my grandparents.  I used to spend weekends and weeks during the summer with them at their cabin.  My grandpa taught me how to fish and canoe.  They both attended just about every sporting/dance/music event that I was in.  My grandfather has long been my hero.  Since I grew up without a father, he was my surrogate.  He was everything a dad should be.  He loved me unconditionally - even when I screwed up.  He taught me how to use a hammer and encouraged me to build things.  He even let me paint the "spider house" that I built.  


My grandmother encouraged my intelligence.  She encouraged my reading and writing and also encouraged me in all of the sports that I did.  She carted me to multiple practices and girl scout meetings.  She has always been good for a hug.


That's not to say that we haven't had our differences. We've had some pretty big blow ups.  Those blowups, however, came when I was an "adult."  Meaning I was over 18, but had not yet learned to control my attitude and behavior.


These two people mean the world to me.  They have been there for me through EVERYTHING.  I have definitely been blessed to not only have my mom, but also my surrogate parents - grandma and grandpa.  I am a better person because of them.  Much of the advice that my grandmother gave me when I was young, I blew off.  I have learned to listen to what she says as she obviously knows what she is talking about. 


I love them with my entire heart and soul and hope that they know how much they mean to me.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Friend?

Whatever. People suck.  I know this seems to be a theme with my blogs, but it's the truth.  Today's sucky people are "friends." I'm not talking about real friends, I'm talking about those fake ass people that pretend to be your friends.  My mom used to call them "fair-weather friends."  Basically, those are the "friends" that are there for you when it's convenient for them.


Now, I know I can be accused of being just this kind of friend.  To some extent with some people, I am.  I know that, though.  The thing is, if you are really my friend - someone I can rely on, someone I can share things with, someone I love, then you know that I will do anything for you.  I am a bitch, but I love with all my heart - sometimes more than I should.


I'm annoyed with the people that you can spend months talking to daily.  You tell them damn near to everything.  You find that you have some things in common, but it doesn't matter that you're not exactly alike because you just like talking to them.  These are the people you think (and hope) will be a part of your life forever.  Then one day, it stops.  There may be a reason or there may not, but it stops.  They are "too busy" to talk to you. 


The reality of it is that they found someone new to talk to.  I have had the "blessing" of dealing with these types of people more than I care to admit.  One only had time for me when she was between boyfriends.  Another only had time for me if her other friend was busy.  Recently, one had time for me until they had an "epiphany."  Apparently, this epiphany dictated that we should no longer speak. BUT when around, that person expects me to speak to them as if everything was normal.  


What kind of crap is that?  You're either my friend or you're not.  Make up your damn mind.  Wait.  Scratch that, I just made up MY mind.  You're not.  Consider yourself "unfriended."


Bye.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

More whining....

Right, so my issues today probably have everything to do with the fact that I'm exhausted. I know most people do not require 8 hours of sleep, and if forced to, I can function without, but I'm usually a bitch.  Well, this week I have managed to get 8 hours of sleep.....yeah, ummmm, not at all.  So, I'm bitchy and whiney.  First of all, there are people in my life - sort of in my life - that I continuously run away from.  Why? Because I can't handle the stress of allowing them to have an active part of my life.  I thought I had everything under control again - minimal contact (if any) = perfect.  Until I received a "surprise" the other day.  So, now I have to go through the "why can't said people accept me for who I am"  blah, blah, blah.

My house is a sty.  As in most pigs would not live in it the way it looks right now.  That annoys me.  But it's spring - we're never frickin home and when we are, all we want to do is sit and relax.

Then, there's my dumb ass dog that just decided to scratch my face and bite my arm.  *sigh*  I just want to go to bed.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Whining and complaining...

I had an epiphany the other day.  I had every intention of sharing it, however, as soon as it came to me, it was shot down.  So, I'll pass on sharing as I'm apparently not ready.  I realize that makes no sense, but whatever.


I've determined over the past few years that there are people in my life who with or without knowing it (I'm not sure which it is) hurt me.  These people cut me to the core and break me down to levels that I do not like.  These people are not ones that I can just cut out of my life.  It's not that easy.  The worst part is, I don't want them out of my life.  I will not tell who these people are, because it doesn't matter.  What does matter is this - be careful what you say to others.  Simple things like "your hair looks a little rough" to some may be no big deal - to people like me (i.e. incredibly insecure and self-concious) it hurts.  Commenting in one breath that you are feeling great and feel like you're looking great and in the next breath asking if the person you're talking to has gained weight - probably not going to go over well.


I know I need to have thicker skin.  I know I need to not let little things like this bother me.  I know that I should not care what others think.  I thought I was there.  I'm not.  Things like that hurt.  I have such a deep and utter self-hatred that little things like that just feed the fire.  No, I'm not suicidal or anything stupid like that.  I just don't like me.  


Moral of this blog - be careful what you say to others, you never know when what you say will break them down.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Frustration Central

Ah yes, another area where many will disagree with me.  And again - I don't much care.  I'm frustrated and annoyed with some of the sports programs here.  This will probably make me come off looking like I think my kid is the queen of the world.  That is not the case.  First of all, there's something in the water here that tends to make the kids slow and lazy.  Maybe that's parenting.  I don't know.  The kicker is, for other people's kids, that's fine.  Not for mine, though.


My kids have high aspirations.  Because of parenting?  Maybe.  My kids set high standards for themselves.  Because of parenting?  Maybe.  My kids have BIG dreams.  Because of parenting?  Maybe.  Here's the thing.  Meg is fast.  The kid can frickin run.  I was a runner in school and I was decent.  I wasn't the best, but I spent a lot of time near the top.  Meg is by far a better runner then I could ever have dreamed of being.  She wants to run.  She loves to run.  I ran because I didn't have anything else to do. 


She killed it in cross country.  She was fantastic.  We realized - as did her coach - that she has great potential.  Here's where we difer with the coach, though.  He doesn't feel the need to push - at all.  Well, let me tell ya something.  I coached her in gymnastics.  The kid will give you only what you ask for.  That's not to say she can't or isn't capable of more, but she's only going to give what she feels like giving in practice unless you push.  It's just who she is.  


Now we're into track season.  One coach wants her to focus on the 3200.  Obviously, she can run it and run it well.  Meg wants to do the mile, 400 and 800.  She has successfully kicked some behind on those events as well.  My thoughts - train her on all.  Why not?  What do you have to lose?  It's possible.  I did it.  It's not unheard of.  


Another frustration - Holt's track and cross teams start training WAY too late.  Then later in the season, the coaches wonder why they keep losing.  Well, East Lansing has been training for over a month.  Huh, I wonder why their kids are more prepared.


I want my daughter to obtain her goals.  I want to help her.  I want someone to give her a push.  If it has to be me, so be it.  I've done it before and I'll do it again.  The child is talented and can do so much more if given a little shove.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Snaggle-toothed freak...

Right, so frequently I complain about these externs we get in the office.  No, I'm not stupid - they are externs, not interns.  Interns are paid and usually have a brain.  These particular externs (minus two) are brainless twits with the aspirations of a dead gnat.  First off, I am annoyed that they are even in the office.  It was never discussed amongst the staff - do we need one?  Do we have enough work for one?  The answers, by the way, are no and no.  Yes, we are ungodly stupid behind, but it's not stuff that we can teach them.  Why?  Please refer to the previous adjectives (brainless twits).  


Anyhoo, this current one is particularly annoying.  The really bad part is she follows the only two externs we have ever liked.  So we had two that broke the mold - were human, had brains, knew how to use them, and aspirations to better themselves.  I digress, current brainless twit takes annoying to a whole new level. She comes in and begins talking before she opens the door to the office.  She continues her pointless babble the ENTIRE time she is here.  We have had to hear about her marriage/pregnancy/divorce/child/volunteer work/current job at a men's strip club/previous jobs/school, etc.  Did I mention she has only been here for a week and a half?


Today, we decided to order pizza....we had this discussion - loudly - while the twit was here.  She could have piped in any time, but chose not to which is fine. You don't want pizza?  Sweet, more for me.  Right. We order the pizza, it arrives, my partner in crime pays me for her portion we eat.  Snaggle-tooth decides she's hungry.  Now, she also overheard us discussing the fact that we would take home our pizzas (we ordered 2 mediums) and feed the leftovers to our respective families.  How do I know she heard?  She commented on it.  Anyhoo, she decides she's hungry, trudges into my office, grabs a plate and snags 3 slices of my pizza.


EXCUSE ME?  Did you ask?  Did you offer to pay?  Are you an asshole?  Did you even wash your hands?  #$!$#!@$!#%!  W.T.F.EVER.


I informed my partner in crime that if said twit did not fork over some cash I would have to treat her like the dog she appears to be.  Oddly enough, just moments ago (while I'm in the middle of typing this) the twit walks in with $3 and says "here's for what I ate."


*sigh*.  Yep, it's a buck a slice.  Sorry, Phil, no leftovers for you....snaggle-tooth done ate most of it.  Jackass.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Ah, another controversial blog...

Prepare yourself - many of you will call me names after this...please understand, I don't give a damn.  I'm truly incredibly pissed off.  Why?  I. AM. SICK. AND. DAMN. TIRED. OF. PEOPLE. PLAYING. THE. RACE. CARD.  Oh yes, I said it.  Tired of it, it's bullshit.  It's like the boy who cried wolf...go ahead, keep using it - the lady in the library wouldn't help me because I'm black, that police officer arrested me because I'm black, that girl got chosen over me becaue I'm black.  KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF. The reality of it is, the lady in the library didn't help you because you're RUDE - just as she wouldn't have assisted a rude white person.  The police officer arrested you BECAUSE YOU BROKE THE LAW - just as he would have arrested a white person who broke the law.  The other girl got chosen over you BECAUSE SHE WAS MORE QUALIFIED, just as if you had the correct qualifications, you would have been chosen over her.

What has my panties all in a bunch, you ask?  Well, here's the hypothetical situation.  A business has a policy that if your account is sent to collections twice you can no longer receive services.  Your account is sent to collections twice.  You pay off your account (for the second time) and wish to retain the businesses services again.  You are explained the policy (again - as you were told after the first time what the policy is).  You cry and whine and attempt to win over the person you are speaking to on the phone.  You fail.  NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE BLACK BUT BECAUSE YOU WERE TOLD A YEAR AGO WHAT THE POLICY IS. A member of upper management has a moment of weakness and agrees to provide services to you again NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE BLACK BUT BECAUSE SHE FEELS BAD FOR YOU.  So, after it is determined that you will receive the business's services again, you have your rude and disrespectful daughter call and scream at office staff (because that will definitely help your cause).  Upper management renigs on the offer to provide services because your family members decide to use inappropriate language with the staff - again NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE BLACK.

You then call the owner of the business and scream racism over and over until the owner determines that we have to provide services to you.  And yes, we have to provide services to you now BECAUSE YOU ARE BLACK.  P.S. We now absolutely hate everything about you and despise every inch of your nasty disgusting worthless skank ass - not because you are black, but because you are an uneducated boil on the ass of society.

This brings to mind another similar situation - hypothetical, of course.  A business has job openings.  Said business interviews.  Interviewees take a typing test before the Q & A portion of the interview.  ALL interviewees take the typing test.  Person 1 takes said typing test and ends up with 55 wpm.  Person 2 takes said typing test and ends up with 43 wpm.  Person 3 takes said typing test and ends up with 2 wpm.  I think we can all figure out who most definitely was not getting hired and why, right?  Wellllllll, Person 3 then files a lawsuit....yes, you read that correctly FILES A DAMN LAWSUIT CLAIMING DISCRIMINATION.  Discrimination?  Against what?  Uneducated dimwits?  People who can't type worth a damn that want office jobs? Please - are you kidding me?  No, I'm not. 

STOP playing the race card.  The thing that's going to happen is that one of these days, that race card is going to be valid and someone's going to use it and be ignored.  I'm not saying racism isn't out there - it is and bad.  I know, I see it.  Why make it worse, though?  This is where stereotyping (as bad as it is) comes into play.  Why do cheerleaders have a bad name?  Cuz one got busted in a bathroom giving blow jobs to the entire football team once....therefore, all cheerleaders are skanks, right?  Wrong.  But that's the perception because of how 1 or 2 behave. 

White people are spoiled and hate all minorities, right?  Wrong.  But that is the perception because over the past few thousand years, white people have screwed up A LOT and screwed over a lot of good people.  I am aware of my heritage.  I am aware that "my people" screwed a lot of people over. I'm sure there are probably even slave owners in my history.  I'm not proud of it, but it's my heritage.  I accepted it and moved on.  Why don't the rest of you?